Running Microaggressions: Why I Need to See a Therapist

So I was doing a threshold repeat workout where I'd run for 4-5 minutes at effort and then do a walking/jogging recovery in between reps. 

I happened to be finishing one of my intervals and it just happened to be in front of the school where there were about a dozen high school kids doing something unrelated. Right as I was finishing off a rep and slow to a walk I hear some cheering. 

"KEEP GOING!" "HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE!" "YOU GOT THIS!"

I mean I was maybe about 50 meters from a "no parking" sign. So maybe they thought I was almost to the end of my interval. But then i thought "wait a minute, I'm not going to be bullied into extending my interval for a bunch of kids."

Mildly annoying, but I threw up a thumbs up in acknowledgement of their unsolicited encouragement and went on with the rest of my workout.

I took this experience to Facebook, expressing that it was mildly and secretly annoying to me when people think that maybe I was struggling and trying to keep up my pace somehow. I expressed that it felt like a microaggression.

And then Facebook does what it does. Having a negative thought while running? AND daring to summon the word "microaggression"? 

I became both an elitist run-bro and a sensitive snowflake in the span of one paragraph. Come with me as we take a journey into the comment section!

I thought running was my therapy. But fair point. I might need therapy for a lot of other things too. 

One lady corrected me and told me what microaggressions ACTUALLY are. I considered responding but then I thought how that would look so instead I threw a "thumbs up" and moved on.

I don't. Let's keep reading.

  

There were some who shared their experiences about remarks that didn't land as intended.

 

 

Others explained succinctly what I was feeling.

 

I have thoughts.

These two comments resonated with me. 

Platitudes are the high-fructose corn syrup of encouraging words. They feel great to say, but we repeat platitudes so often that they've lost much of their meaning.

Intrusive? Absolutely. Because we're assigning a motive to someone even though we don't know why they're out there to begin with. I'm here to do a workout, nothing more, nothing less. I'm not here to lose weight or to inspire anyone or to show off  "my superb sports level".  Not to high school kids, not to old ladies. I'm simply showing up, minding my own business. 

Let's revisit the M word.

 

 

A lot of people hear the word microaggression and roll their eyes because they just assume its another form of looking to be offended or choosing to be a victim. Microaggressions are remarks that betray our unconscious biases. We always give compliments with good intentions. But they sometimes land wrong. We don't know we're doing it. The blind spot is the entire point. We can argue about whether or not runners are considered a "marginalized group" but I feel that's an entirely different ball of wax.

When someone is out minding their own business, we don't know why they're doing what they're doing. Praising them for something they're not trying to do is awkward at best, and triggering at worst.

Imagine a young lady getting her coffee at a cafe and a middle aged man tells her "You're so pretty when you smile. You should smile more." 

 

Is she not allowed to be uncomfortable? 

 

What if the man said something like this:

 

 Compliments can be harmful. Even if made with the best intentions.  

Here's my take

If I am outside and I see someone else running, I will either say "good morning" or I will give the universal-head-nod-of-acknowledgment. If that's all I get back in return, I'm golden. It gives "I see you working" energy.  

At the end of a race or a hard effort, I might say something like "great job" or "nice work." Again it's the acknowledgement of effort and the "I see you working" energy that I will always praise. I see the effort. I don't assume the motivation. 

The best way to compliment a runner? Ask them how it went. Have them walk through the training, how the race went, what they're going to do next. Then listen. Because now you're moving from platitudes to actually seeing and understanding all the work they're doing. 
 

That’s all I got for today.

Now go run.